Honeymoon.

Today was relative.

It was mostly awful... but with good reason.
Class
    It was difficult-- not by topic, but by attitude. I'll take my responsibility; my attitude could have been better, internally and externally. But attitude reflects leadership. Leadership lost a lot a respect today. But really, failure is just an opportunity for grace. I was to extend grace them though. Why did Christ die, if I cannot practice grace likewise? But still, in my humanity... class was frustrating.

When we finally got a break, sweet Jil and I escaped to the balcony. The warmth of the Father penetrated the cold wind. Sweet burdened hearts being drawn... being broken... being shaped. We have to learn to seek. I think... this is especially important for Jil. I know she is going abroad. My heart wants to go too... but my Father already knows that. It's around: smog, sickness, culture shock... the things that make bitter your heart. Yet is a dichotomy. Love, peace, sunshine, mountains, community, hope... they are all around too.

Emotions.
   I used to be frustrated with the church. I felt some services / denominations defined by an emotion response. I felt like (in some services) that I was expected to feel a certain way... and if I didn't feel that way, then I didn't encounter God. So not true. God cannot be captured and encased. He is such a vast wonder to be explored and enjoyed. I could talk about that so much more. But! today I had never really thought about evoking an emotional response within other sects of religion.
 Today we visited a cathedral. It was astecically pleasing with gorgeous architecture. It was cold, marble, and weirdly clean. There were also tombs, images of saints, and high ceilings. I heard music, but there was no choir. Obvisiously it was a recording. This seemed like such a sacred and lofty place. The music seemed ask for an emotional response. I imagine that if I was catholic I would be quite moved by it... that I could easily weep at the base of a marble statue worshiping and petitioning in my heart. I'm not a foreigner to Catholicism. I make no joke; I respect it. But the cathedral upset me today in my own weird way, not outwardly, but inwardly. I just wanted to weep at the feet of the living God.

Americans.
     I am defined by my origin, but truly, I represent so much more than that. I felt insulted today. I felt that I failed in representing America for what it should be... rather I feel I confirmed what it is. Perhaps I should not take offense. Be think skinned, right? When I was in Argentina, I was cussed-out because I was wearing the wrong shirt. (NOTE: Never ever never wear the wrong soccer jersey in a Latin American country. PERIOD.) And today, I felt burdened and embarrassed. Someone in our group told a street comedian that we were from the US. And as the world knows, American have money. Which is completely relative, by the way. And when he asked for a tip, no one from our group responded. Why? I have no idea. He even asked again a few minutes later. In that moment, he blew us off. Then, to the crown, he made a joke about Americans... and rightly so. We looked to rude and dumb. That is not what my heart wants to represent.
I don't even want to talk about what happened at the mall.

Giggling until we fell of the floor
     We finally made it home. Jil and I decided to hit the gym to burn off some steam. That was such a good idea. Upon returning we decided to explore the hotel a little bit. We were being goofy. And we were still in our work out clothes. We made it to the bottom floor - 3 floors underground. It was super creepy. We were somewhat pretending to be ninjas or spies. In that moment, Jil noticed the video cameras. We busted outta there! Up three flights of stairs, right after working out. When we got back to the elevator... the bell hop / security guard at the hotel asked what we were doing. "Exploring", I said. He asked if I found something, strongly hinting that we had been seen on the video cameras. "Nothing..." I said. "There is nothing down there" and I booked it into the elevator. Once I translated everything to Jil, she feel on the floor from laughing so hard!!! I joined her and we laughed all the way up to my room on the top floor. We could do nothing but relax in the joy of the moment.

The honeymoon stage is over. I now live in Santiago. This isn't just a visit. Es mi vida.

I journey on.

Blessing from the broken and weary, yet blessed traveler.

Tombs

Man-made beauty

I am promised for more. I hope my feet can carry me there.